dreamland

oh boy...

2006-04-19T00:05:00.000+08:00

Finally, i was able to open or recover my password .. damn it.
i looooved this url... the entries... and all. maybe i was jst stupid not to remember my password.

well, so i started a new blog friends. visit me at my new url.

i also started my new life.

pra updated, magbsa na!!! choz!!!

i lost track

2006-02-28T17:21:00.000+08:00

i have been uploading a handful of entries for the past weeks.bad news thou, it's not here.
gone in the wind ika nga.

non-sense na nga , nawala pa ..aheheh

bummer!!!

He'll find me... Soon.

2006-01-18T17:39:00.000+08:00

I know him by heart

-- Vonda Shepard

There's a secret path I follow

To a place no one can find

Where I meet my perfect someone

I've kept hidden in my mind

Where my heart makes my decisions

'Till my dream becomes a vision

And the love I feel

Makes him real someday

'Cause I know he's out there somewhere

Just beyond my reach

Though I've never really touched him

Or ever heard him speak

Though we've never been together

We've never been apart

No we've never met

Haven't found him yet

But I know him by heart

Am I living in an illusion?

Wanting something I can't see

If I compromise, I'd be living lies

Pretending love's not meant to be

'Cause I know my heart's worth saving

And I know that he'll be waiting

So I'll hold on and I'll stay strong 'till then

'Cause I know he's out there somewhere

Just beyond my reach

Though I've never really touched him

Or ever heard him speak

Though we've never been together

We've never been apart

No we've never met

Haven't found him yet

But I know him by heart

No we've never met

Haven't found him yet

But I know him by heart

Ultimate Dream

2006-01-11T19:22:00.000+08:00

All have us have an ultimate dream and i must admit i have a bagful of dreams in mind. But as i grew older, my long list is cut short. Just about from 101 to 100 nlng!!! aheheh.. We just learn to know our priorities and sorting has been one of my best skill.

One of my ultimate dream finally happend and i am really thankful. God is really great in so many ways. Opportunities knocked at my door and i grabbed it and whoa!!!!! Another booster for my == self-esteem!!! oh yes!!!!

I'm back on track. and i'm taking my life back.... no one can let me down this time. It's a great year!!! GV 2006 itu!!!!

***
sna lng di bawian itu --- may isa pang wish e -- to be regularized sa job ko!!! im crossing my fingers!!!! kme dalawa ni neng ang nagwi - wish ngayon!!! dba neng!!!

sudden attack

2006-01-04T17:08:00.000+08:00

maybe i am really not yet ready to anything that IS related to love, relationship or dating. it jst brings back sad or somehow bad memories from my past. Im suddenly having a heart burn and damn it makes me feel a bit lonely....but hey not because im single or not yet over my past aches but because im simply afraid of falling in love again. Even the simple goosebumps/ kilig moments of dating makes me wonder at the end of the day if i'll fall in love or let me say if somebody worthy will love me wholeheartedly.

sometimes, no matter how you try to enjoy life, it will simply attack you out from nowhere. just like the previous days, here i go again.... in pain and hoping endlessly .... honestly,im losing hope that i'll end up with a guy who loves me deeply, im afraid to share a part of me to anybody.... someone might not come along and hold my hand til we get old.

damn.

Pagdaan ng karayom

2006-01-02T14:27:00.000+08:00

Patapos na ang taon pro humabol pa ang madugong pag daan ko muli sa karayom. Minor surgery lng nman!!! choz pro masakit sya to be honest!!!

kabilaang kili kili ang peneste ng cyst at fistula kya kinakailangan matangal na pra maibsan ang kahirapan.. bweheheeh!!!!

Happy new YEar mga Dude!!!

In the spirit of Christmas

2005-12-28T10:51:00.000+08:00

This is the only Christmas Season wherein i wasnt ablt to do my shopping for my folks and everybody else in my list. Too bad. I rushed all my gifts before the eve of the celebration and there were a few people that i forgot... nyaks!!!

Now, we are on the next stop -- New Year!!! Which reminds me it's 2006 already. Be turning 26 yet haven't achieved much. Anyway, i would love to access my life this 2005:
1. I resigned from GPI but later on got a job here at GMA New Media.
2. I am Single but Happy!!!!
3. I have been really, really as in really busy since day7 at work
4. I have new friends - officemates and they are really great
5. dme pa!!!

Thank you .. thanks... Merry Christmas everybody!!!!

Pag boss nga nman!

2005-12-14T13:25:00.000+08:00

Bad trip lng tlga ako ngayon.
Some people are really hard to please ano!!! khet ginawa mo na lahat pra lng ma satisfy sya pro wla pa din.
Packaging lng ang difference pro pro big deal.

San angulo ko pa titignan????

2005-11-25T17:48:00.000+08:00

***this entry can be as non-sense as my previous updates, as it is i have nothing in particular to share or anything. so this may end up as a chopsuey entry.***

i never noticed that it's end of november already and almost end of the year na din. this year could have been a loveless year and one of the challenging slash ngarag as ever for me but i thank God still for i was able to surpass it all. it's not that easy to live each day of it but ang saya saya pa din ng buhay. tlga nman minsan ang buhay nsa taas ka at minsan nasa baba. Pansin ko nga lng, pagtapos ng kasiyahan nararanasan ko at sleepless nights nman ang kapalit agad agad. natanong ko na nga kng kelan matatpos ang lahat ng ito pro wlang kwenta ang buhay pagwlang problema or anuman skit ng ulo ang dadating.

Next level na siguro ako... minsan ang dmi pa nga din tanong. normal lng un pro sana lng...sana lng...

****

This year God showered me/ us a lot of blessings. Ang sarap lng ng feeling na unti unti nang bumabalik ang dati nmin buhay despite ng kalagayan ni mami. Thanks JC. Sa family ko, masagana ang blessing ngayon. Then, after i resigned sa gpi i was hired sa nmi ... ang saya lng. may asim pa din pla ako sa mga companies na inaapply-an ko khit akala ko e brain dead na ako.

****

Looking back, i realized di madaling turuan ang pusong magmahal. Not because im not yet over my last relationship (tapos na un and im happy it's over! really i am) but simply because hindi ko lng makuhang matutunan mahalin o magustuhan ang taong ito in particular. Maybe kse hindi sya persistent and di ko makita sa knya ang sincerity...pro hello based on my experience, di lang dun nasusukat ang sa sincerity and pagiging persistent ang level ng pagmamahal... san nga ba??? di ko na din alam pro im not looking for love right now and that's for sure. If there's a chance na ma fall ako ulit bka magdalawang isip lng ako at pigilan ko ang sarili ko.... for simple reasons.. 1st: im afraid lng 2nd: yoko pa 3rd: sbe ko nga im not looking for love ryt now.. overflowing love ang natatanggpap ko from my family and friends.

hay heart!!!

****
serendipity.
- a natural gift for making useful discoveries by accident

that's how i called it.
now, im thinking ---- was it really a gift ? bwahaha

I think God can explain

2005-11-11T12:36:00.000+08:00

There's a lot of things I don't understand
And there's a lot of things
I don't want to know
But you're the only face I recognize
It's so damn sweet of you
To look me in the eyes

It's all right, I'm O.K.
I think God can explain
I believe I'm the same
I get carried away

It's all right, I'm O.K.
I thing God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed
I'll get over it yet

The scent of vaseline
In the summertime
The feel of an icecube
Melting overtime
The world seems bigger than both of us
Yet it seems so small
When I begin to cry

I'm so much better than you guessed
I'm so much bigger than you guessed
I'm so much brighter than you guessed

I'm relieved, I'm relaxed
I'll get off of your back

I think God can explain

- Performed by Splender
- Written by Waymon Boone

***
I always know God has a reason for everything and i'm positive that everything will be alryt. So much sharpening lng ang ginagawa skin... kaya ko pa!!! di pa ko bibitaw sa laban ng buhay.

Gemini

2005-11-07T16:23:00.000+08:00

Come a little closer

Flicker in flight

We’ll have about an inch space

But I’m here I can breathe in

What you breathe out

Chorus:

Let me know if I’m doing this right

Let me know if my grip is too tight

Let me know if I can stay all of my life

Let me know if dreams can come true

Let me know if this one’s yours too

Cause I see it, oohh..

And I feel it right here

And I feel you right here

The vacuous right

Steps aside to give meaning

To Gemini’s dreaming

The moon on its back

And the seemingly

Veiled room’s lit

By the same star

Repeat Chorus

And I feel it right here

And I feel you right here
Ooohh.. ooohh.. oohh..

- Spongecola

Adik sau...

2005-11-06T14:40:00.000+08:00

Sassy Girl addict ako!!!

ang sakit sa heart.

yakang yaka!!!

2005-10-21T19:37:00.000+08:00

kailangan magsikap
kailangan magsipag
nang tayo ay umangat
umulong, tumulong nang tau ay umahon
ang pagsukat ng tao ay hindi sa knyang salita, di sa knyang itsura o sa knyang nagawa
marahil maraming kahirapan ang dadaanin bsta may panalagin amuman ay kakayanin.

- except from Parokya ni Edgar's song

true blooded plastic

2005-10-18T17:33:00.000+08:00

Just like any superstars, we all have our flaws….
These stars however cover it with an expensive foundation and signature clothes
With a fake smile, they can win hearts of millions and millions of televiewers

But these things also happens with any ordinary citizen
Everybody does wear a fake smile to cover up what they truly feel deep inside
I often wonder why can’t they show their true colors? Stop pretending and I’m sure they will be happier

We cannot please everybody
But we don’t have to be plastic…. Pretenders….

Dba!

TKO

2005-10-17T12:36:00.000+08:00

Just like any boxing league, we were knocked down by our contender, Grand Ma (tador) hehehe!!!

Pro ang saya…na sad din sa mga kwentos but we are prayign that everything will be ok soon espeially to those who are facing a big challenge right now. Dn't let it pull you down, sbe nga ni net, na very good pa sya sa presentation sya after ng mga bagay bgay. Which only shows, God is great and he will not let us leave empty handed.

I luff yah guys!!! In our moments of krungkrungers…or at our normal state.

In dreaming...

2005-10-05T15:17:00.000+08:00

We dream but we often fail.
When we dream, we trust…in ourselves, in our faith
In achieving each dream, we soar and gracefully conquer the world…
The world we hold on to… the world that inspires us to take it to the next level.

Life has thought us how it is to live
The lesson it brings certainly makes us a better individual.
A best of who we are… who we can be.

Let those dreams keep us longing for more…
And in every failure, be a stepping stone for a new beginning.

Missing my squared pup

2005-10-04T11:00:00.000+08:00

We were just playing last night.... and now.... Cass, my square beagle pup died this morning. Her abnormalities opened my eyes to a lot of things. Whenever i see her, i can feel there's hope in everything...not only for her , but also for me. She has been my source of inspiration. My joy and a pup that touched my life.

And now, she's gone, she left me with a broken heart and still, i will be struggling to live my life to the fullest with the lessons she gave me. So, i'll keep on fighting and everything will be alright.

my prince

2005-09-29T18:53:00.000+08:00

As the stars lit the dark sky, my heart tremendously feels gloomy sometimes.
Just like a kid, i have a prince charming in mind. Someone who holds my hand no matter how bad i look... protects me all the way..so on and so forth.
I had this heart broken a couple of times and still, i believe that my prince charming will finally find me and keep me in his arms.

My prince, just like any princesses....
i'll be waiting in my castle
hoping for the day you'd come and
love me like nobody else.

via sun network

2005-09-27T19:49:00.000+08:00

i may not b there when you need me

but a part of me laughs when youre happy

And cries when youre sad...

The other part stays strong enough to pray for you....

that's the best thing a friend could do!!!!

***
ganda ano?
Thanks Ave for sharing that quote!

Teary-eyed

2005-09-21T18:46:00.000+08:00

Slowly Losing My Mother

My mother has Alzheimer's disease. I find clothes neatly folded inside the refrigerator, as if it were a bedroom closet. I catch her sprinkling Tide on her toes, as if it were baby powder. I am now used to answering the same question over and over again at five-minute intervals. She claims she just talked to my dead grandmother or dined with my father who passed away when I was still in college. She looks for her puppy under the bed. That puppy was her dad's gift to her on her 10th birthday. She is 80.

I used to enjoy talking to my mom. Being the youngest child and only girl, I wore clothes of the same design and print that she did. We were inseparable. When I started working, I'd treat her to Shakey's on weekends. We watched Vilma Santos movies together. On Sunday afternoons,
we'd snuggle in bed reading magazines. We took turns feeding our cats and dogs.

Then I became too engrossed in my work and spent less and less time with her. On weekends, I'd sleep the whole day. Since we live in Novaliches, I had to leave early for my eight o'clock job and got home late too tired to chat with her. But she understood and was always supportive of my job. For 14 years, she was left alone at home while I was at the office. But she did not mind. She had her plants, our pets, and her sewing machine to keep her busy. Her kingdom was our house. In fact, she felt proud of all the tasks she accomplished each day.

I am now a freelancer. I have all the time to spend with my mom. We can chat for hours now, go on vacations out-of-town, watch movies, horse around like we used to.

But it's too late.

She now has her own little world. She can't understand what I say. She can't appreciate my achievements anymore. She can no longer empathize with me the way she used to. She is obsessed with her odd collection of empty plastic bottles, cereal boxes and tin cans. She collects what I discard germs and all! I have to scold her for she won't listen to my gentle reminders. She insists on going home to a house in Binondo where she was born, grew up and fell in love. But that house is long gone. And so is my grandmother her mom. She does not believe me when I try to explain these things. She throws a tantrum instead. She thinks I am deceiving her. It breaks my heart. And this happens every single day! I feel like I'm going out of my mind. I feel like a prisoner in a German camp. Now I know what mental torture a mere leaking faucet can induce.

It is ironic that while I can now enjoy being with my mom and talking to her for as long as I want, I'd rather not. I have discovered that it is better to just keep quiet and silently watch her.

I used to hear stories of how hard it is to take care of aging parents. They say it can really test your patience. It can suck out your time and energy, not to mention money. I'd like to think that I am better off: my mom is not bedridden. Neither does she make a mess of herself yet. She still walks around our garden, eats by herself, enjoys our pets and tinkers around. But I now realize that it is harder to watch your mom gradually drifting into her own private world. I try to catch the fleeting moments when she still knows that she is my mother. I know that one day she will ask who I am. I dread that day.

Many times as I watch her sleeping peacefully like a child, I scold myself. Though I showered her with material gifts when I still had a regular job, I deprived her of so much: my time, my presence, my attention and in a way, my love.

I feel guilty for the stories I did not share with her, the advice I did not ask from her, the secrets I did not confide to her, the activities I did not enjoy with her. It's sad that when I gained new friends and discovered new horizons in life, there was very little space left for her in my heart..

For those out there who still have your mom, sane and sound always set aside time for her. Grab every opportunity to bond and show her your love. And let her love you too. Let her continue being a mother to you. Seize the time. One day, she might still be around but you would have already lost her.

*****

Tina emailed this to me. Thanks Tina!!!!

I can relate sooo much.

My mom is:

- 58 years old

- brain age though is 12 occassionally.

- had her 1st episode of stroke last 2000. Her right side of the brain was much affected... blood clot.

- was confined in the ICU, Medical City for 2 weeks. And another 2 weeks in the recovery room.

- In 2001, she had her bypass surgery at the Philippine Heart Center. Again, we were a hospital resident for more than a month.

- now, she's coping. recovering but still haven't recovered her ability to talk straight.

That's my mom and i truly love her.

Makapag import na nga rin! Hayup.

2005-09-15T15:47:00.000+08:00

No matter how proud I am to be a Filipino i cant help but be ashamed for a few reasons. Crisis has been hitting the country real hard and it seems that people are so dense on our country's status. I feel so bad for all of these. My efforts of being a good citizen does not do any justice to all the evil stuff that our fellow Filipinos are doing... most especially, our government officials. These government officials who should be good example and who should practice good manner and right conduct. (Balik kau sa school ha, aral kau ng GMRC!!!)

On my way to work, i was able to listen to Ted Failon's segment discussing importation discrepancy or anomalies in their department. Upon listening to it, i got pissed off..totally pissed off. Can you imagine a BMW car 2004 model was imported with a value price of $350.00 only. Making it PhP 19,600 if we convert it to peso (P56:$1). OMG!!!! Can you just imagine that, with that amount i can have that car imported under my name. Khet sino pde na magka BMW with that amount. Reality check, sweldo lng to ng isang supervisor... Anyway, during the discussion of that issue, different gov't officials and entities explained their side and the effects of this kind of anomaly. And to name some, please see below:
- many local employees will lose their jobs with this cheap importation of luxury or any automabile
- automobile companies that are operating locally might close down / end their operations here in our country
- we will lose billion and billion of profits, taxes

Ito pa pla isa, 1 car was imported only for a dollar ($1). My God. Plus taxes, making it a total $1.43 - 2.50. So, ano nlng kinita ng ating bansa dito? Wla diba? Wla!!!! At ang tangging kumikita ay ang mga mukhang perang officials ng Bureau of Customs at kung sinu-sino pa.

Damn, if these things go on continuously we wil be stuck as a Third World country... Isang bayan naghihikashos sa mga kamay ng aguilang alipin ng gobernyo pasaway!!!

It's official......

2005-09-12T21:19:00.000+08:00

I am now a Kapuso!

For all the blessings from up above -- I thank JC, St. P, Mama Mary and everybody who believed in me and supported me all the way. Thank you very much!!!

It's a start of a new beginning. I am truly happy!!!! yipeee!!!!

guess who's back?????

2005-09-07T18:22:00.000+08:00

she's back.... Yaya is in the house....
Yes dreddy, you're right...I am a free woman now!!!

Tsalap ng feeling. whoa!

Sentiments of a lady like me

2005-09-05T09:52:00.000+08:00

Our lives totally changed when my mom was hospitalized. Totally. Four years had past and we can still feel the pain. Somehow i can say i understand the scenario better than before and i'm trying to rule my patience in 100% level or else everything might breakdown and cry. No matter how i try to make things possible and easy for us... it's not working. I love my family... my mom ofcourse but i also have a life of my own. Especially in cases like this, where i need to go out and find a job.. spend time with friends or outside our home. I have been a prisoner of this situation. All the responsibilities are handed down to me. To the fact that, i'm not the only child of this family... i'm not the only responsible being breathing in this house. Cant they see that i also have a life of my own. I have goals...dreams... but how can i fulfill it if i'm stuck here doing what???

i know i shouldn't complain and i dont really wanna complain... but this is so unfair already. I can't help it but there are moments that i answer back my dad and my sister... it is because i want to fight for my what i believe in and i just want them to know the situation, my feelings. doing this, doesn't make me a blackship.... i guess. and i know it's not right but i'm full of bad sentiments. I shouldn't get tired taking care of this family but i am starting to,,,,,,,, aaahhh!!!

I just hope my dad and sister realize that they are stopping me in achieving my dreams. And most of all, i want them to realize that i have a life of my own.

This is Unfair!!!!!!

2005-09-03T18:34:00.000+08:00

Day off

I deserve some!!! And as part of the deal, weekends are my free day!!! but what am i doing here on a saturday??? damn, dad is off some place and i dnt know where. He promised he'll be home by 3pm. And what time is it??? it's already 6pm. Isn't this great??? My sister,on the other hand is in greenhills -- malling and whatever!!!!

I should be with my friends today... this very moment.

I'm upset with this set up. I' m upset with my family members. I'm upset with my yaya as well, who promised she'll be home last tuesday. Don't you guys realize what you are doing??? Promises...Promises... Broken Promises!!!!

So much loooove

2005-09-02T19:55:00.000+08:00

I feel the presence of JC in my life. I have nothing more to ask for i feel complete inside and out. Miracles do happen... and all in God's time. Thank you soooo much!!!!

To Saint P too!!!

So early

2005-09-01T07:54:00.000+08:00

My body clock wakes me up at 6am even if i sleep wee hours in the morning. Good practice i guess so when i finally find a job, i wont have a hard time waking up in the morning. I have a lot of things to do and slowly i'm accomplishing things on my own. Damn, it feels so good.

For a time, i was so disappointed with myself but i've totally realized that i can't do anything about it by this time. Weeping and locking up myself won't do any good besides i can't turn back the hands of time... what has been done is done..period. I just have to be sorry ( and I AM ) and never as in NEVER do it again. I guess what is important is i learn from it and move on with my life. I'm back at square 1. God has been so good to me and i really love JC and i'm so thankful that i was able to surpass all these. Without Him, I am nothing.

PBB

2005-08-31T21:12:00.000+08:00

I'm so hooked with Pinoy Big Brother.
Corni but true.
I'm wonderin' if it is scripted or not
Who will survive the challenge kya noh?

Ikaw... tatagal ka ba sa bahay ni Kuya ng 100 days?

Ako, parang kaya ko nman. If ever lng ha.
Prang ang saya nila dun eh!

Umuwe ka na baby!!!

2005-08-31T08:49:00.000+08:00

Uwe ka na yaya... over ka na ha!!!!

As it happend....

2005-08-29T16:19:00.000+08:00

Someone is leaving us again....But for this is for her future and we wish her luck. We had a very successful despedida party for Vki last Saturday. Well... we said it all... Gonna miss yah girl!

***
Ate Uni had her bday party and sorry i wasn't able to come. Happy bday and May JC bless u more!!!

***
Roshan just had been baptised last satruday. I wasn't able to go to the church..too bad ninang pa nman ako.. valid reason - had my battery of examination kse.

***
dme pa - okasyon. i miss my social life. buhay bahay na ko ngayon. hirap kse eh wlang yaya...wlang pera...kya heto... papakabato d2.

BG in the house!!!

2005-08-21T15:27:00.000+08:00

If my boredom makes me insane for the past week ... in a few days time i wont!!! I have been busy keeping our house clean and making sure their stomach is full. I had so much bonding with them to make up with the lost times i wasn't here. I must admit i have been always out of the house. They call me "boarder" (tama ba spelling?) Not now!!! cause im the resident maryordoma na!!!

Anyways, BG will be here next saturday. So excited!!! As i promised Jo-ann, i will take care of BG big time. BG in the house!!!! woohoo!!! So, my schedule will be full again for family kaek-ekan. Kya nman, i miss my friends na!!!

Speaking of friends,,,, Vki (#4 pasaway sa PG gang), will be flying to Bermuda, British Colony island next month that is why i'm busy making calls and reservations for our surprise despidida party this Sat, Aug 27. Gonna miss yah Vkikoy!!!! Yaan mo dadalaw kme!!!! I wish u all the luck. Enjoy your job there since you'll be doing nman the same old thing except mga dollars na ang i-a-audit mo. Cheers to our CPA- ofw Vki!!!!

BORED

2005-08-18T16:20:00.000+08:00

Sitting here typing words i don't know if it makes sense. This is what boredom can do to any individual. I had my routine everday and it's killing me little by little.

Well... this is it.... as for now, SPELL boredom is my game.

1st day BUM

2005-08-16T09:56:00.000+08:00

This is the beginning of my bumming life. I may spund helpless by saying this but hey this is reality. And so far, i'm doing just fine on my 1st day. Since, my yaya is on vacation...(damn, makisabay ba daw sa bakasyon ko) i'll be busy with household chores and taking care of my mom. I am the man of the house!!!! It means no gimmiks for 2 weeks unless come up with reasons huh!!!

Like i've said i have tons to do... clean the house, attend my tiring driving lessons, call different bars for booking/raket, go to divi,get my student's license, look for a job, go home to ilocos and fix my life. Yes, i have to do that now and i'll end up in a pit of shit again. I've done wrong but as Pee told me there's no sense on crying over spilled milk. Nangyari na. So, here i am starting my life all over again. I'm back to step 1 after what happend. It's really hard and frustrating. Oh well,,, Just like now...when it rains, it pours.

Gotta go back to work now... my household chores, i mean.

Hey, i can sleep late now and wake up anytime of the day. ayos dba!!!

Farewell GPI

2005-08-15T17:20:00.000+08:00

It's my last day here at work and i'm kinda feeling sad for i'll be saying goodbye to my GPI family. I worked with them for 2 years and so. I learned a lot here i must admit and i am thankful for that.

Gonna miss:

1. wacky artists that makes my day and formed so much bonding with them. They are my non-biological brothers -- Sir Noel, Richard,Philip Flip and Bling Bling. (Wish i had one in real life huh!)

2.my co-marketing colleagues - my sisters in the house i must say. Ms. Marites and Tina, nice working with this team.

3. Soc, our one & only admin/finance point person. How she sleeps on breaks and sing out loud with her earphones on.

4. to my very OC (as in --exxag) boss!! CAR. Thanks!!! Gonna Miss you too!!!

5. my pc...my mobile chair...24/7 internet connection...signing papers...lunch outs... harrassed days...clients..licensors...fud trips...tipid moments - PhP 20 merienda challenge...landmark on breaks.... dme din pla noh!!!

Thanks for the wonderful years together. Damn... This brings me to tears.

It's really hard to let go of something you've used to... especially if it meant a lot to you.

Hang Over

2005-08-10T18:29:00.000+08:00

I am disappointed with myself.

Quarter Life

2005-08-08T23:48:00.000+08:00

I'm into my new chapter of my life. I've step into the womanhood stage (i should have realized this years ago) and i feel the nerves already. I just have this weird feeling that i cant explain. Shivers. I feel that i have a handful of responsiblities. I also have so many plans after that i don't know what else to do. Being jobless at 25 scares me. i know opportunities will knock at my door but i also have to move my pwet to get a things going. Right now , i'm more focused in getting what i want.

I can say i already live my life to the fullest. I don't have regrets doing all the things i did in the past. Whether it was good or bad, at least i enjoyed every moment of it. When i grow old and weary i have tons of stories to my grand children.

Some get married at this age but not me. I still have a lot of plans and i want to enjoy my single life. I must admit though that i already feel shivers and it is something i do not understand. I planned to get married at 28 years old, that gives me 3 more years to find my prince charming...should i say , my prince charming to find me... but due to some events, i'm considering age 30. Am i putting pressure to myself? My point is i wanna enjoy my kids while i'm young. I'm open to different scenarios, if he dont find me... sorry! i have a lot of years to count til i walk down the aisle. whatever!!!! Settling down is one thing that gives me shivers. Next topic please!!! hahaha!

Bsta lng, my realizations and shivers will either keep my sanity or insane. I made it through my quarter life, so what's next for me? I'm set for the ride of my life.

***

I'm so grateful for the 25 years of my life existence. JC gave me a lot of second chances and i have nothing else to wish for. I feel so blessed. Thanks!

Heart break

2005-08-05T11:42:00.000+08:00

Been in and out of love. Often times, we wished the relationship to last especially if everything seems so right between the two persons involved. Yes, challenges will come your way then you'll try to make things work. After years of investing your emotions, someone will end up breaking up with you or the other way around. Bad isn't it??? but things happen for a reason. Sometimes, it will keep you wasted and longing or maybe you'll end up saying thank you for that event. Just like how thankful i am.

I'm not in a relationship right now...and i didn't have a recent break up.... I just realized again a lot of things after i received a call from a friend crying endlessly for she was dumped after their 3 years relationship. I couldn't bear her sighs and most especially the reason behind their break-up --- fixed marriage. The other party will be marrying someone new soon. Tragic isn't? I can still remember how they love each other and how much they want to spend their lives together. I couldn't believe what i heard and worse i can't get over it.

Which brings me back to thinking... what is really the secret behind a lasting relationship? It is not just love. I think commitment, respect and what??? Scary as it is but what the heck, all of us fall in and out of love. And no matter how bad our past experiences are we keep on investing our emotions over and over again... and still hoping this is "it". Oh boy!!!!

Hey, this is reality. This is life. Heart break teaches us a lot of things. Things that will mold each one of us to become a better individual...better partner. And being someone better means you learned to love yourself more than your other half... you learned to respect and give importance to your own needs. I am not an expert in terms of relationships..or loving.... but my experiences shaped me to know more and gain this kind of relationship i have now -- Relationship with myself. I am more in tune to what i really need / feel. And damn, it feels so good!

25 Wish List

2005-08-02T16:28:00.000+08:00

1.tops
2.pants
3.shoes
4.bags
5.belts
6.body shop concealer

7.new blinds for my room
8.mini polyboxes for organizing my stuffs
9. new component
10. 5-8 dozens of black or blue hangers

11.have a career
12.student's license
13.driving lessons
14.be able to do charity work
15.continue my beaded top raket at ang iba pa
16.doctor's check up -- good health
17. to be an adobe master

18. tour asia and the world
19. get a US / Europe visa - wish ko lng!

20. leaner tights and hips
21. straighter hair
22. flawless skin
23. weight gain -- 5 more pounds

24. inspiration
25. world peace & prosperity

gosh... im trying to make a short list pero pero pero kse...

26.a new hotdog pillow. i cant sleep without that kse. eheehe

sa presinto ka magpaliwanag. dme pang sinasabe eh!!!

At 3am (sunday morning)

2005-07-31T02:57:00.000+08:00

Trials will come your way before you will hit your target. And that is true..based on our experiences.

Denied mark may have turned TETET's world upside down but JC just granted her one great wish - a job. Yes, she is now officially a working girl. Caritas Manila saw here abilities and gave her just what she needed. And now, i can see an very happy and fulfilled individual. On the other hand, DINAH just had her date yesterday (awhile ago that is) and it seemed that everything is a-ok with them. Still, we are crossing our fingers but we are really happy.

Very obvious that JC showered us great events for this week. You may be wondering what is it that im happy about - it is the fact that i'm getting interview schedules. It may not be an assurance of having or getting the job right away but the fact that i have been noticed by these comapnies are worth smiling about. As you all know, i lost my self-esteem already. I felt so dumb and useless for a time but due to all these opportunities it is something!!! =) I may have been "sabog" for the past weeks but i can manage. I just need some recharging and i'll be back to my oldself.

For all these, Thanks JC. We owe you alot!!! Luff yah!!!

*****

i miss the GrandPa gang though... but i know we will be spending so much bonding session soon.

Tell me...

2005-07-27T10:52:00.000+08:00

What are you trying to do? Why do you have to call me at work..at home ...txt me that youre dropping by our crib.... What's the fuss? Whaaaat?

You tell me your sorry and i accepted that....
Not because i forgave you already, you'll do this to me
I have been living my life the way i wanted it to be..So please stop it. I'm doing just fine. I have moved on. I've successful pass my healing process.

t'was hard, i must admit. it took me blows and bucket of tears....Cases of beers... sleepless nights, pigging or its vice versa...
For i must also admit that i've loved you and you made me feel so happy when we were still a thing. You made me feel how important i am. But that was it. Every story has its ending.

Our ending brought me to greater heights. It made me more of what i used to be. Made me a greater individual. Brought back the "asim" in me. Yes, i gained weight. Unreasonably having crispy pata and beer tummy gave me all that "asim" look. "Asim" in a good way ha!!!

Like i said before, i want to thank you for gracing my life with great experiences. What you did made me more of a greater person as i've said. But things are not like the way it used to be. It's really different now. Focus more on things that needs attention. Build trust and be faithful to the people around you and please please please be reminded that there are a lot of people who is counting on you. So do your part. Do not be unfair to those who faithfully cares for you and loves you wholeheartedly.

My life doesn't jive with the life you want to have. I know you have dreams too! And i want you to fulfill that as i fulfil mine. I can be your friend but not like this...not now.

*****

And i remember...this is the month when i was first met you...
This was the start of all the happy and sad stories i keep on telling my friends...and blogging about...
And also, today is 27. Is this why you eagerly wanted to talk to me & see me last night? I hope not. For it's useless already.

*****

Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
No, no baby
Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
I don't want to be your friend
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
I don't want to be your friend...
-- Don't want 2 be your friend by Nina

Long & busy weekend

2005-07-26T10:08:00.000+08:00

My weekend was jampacked with a looong list of my things to do. And good thing i was able to get my duties done on time.

I played soccer last friday and had our Saturday 1am breakfast with my SFC friends at Something's Fishy. I was having a nice sleep until my mom woke me up and we went our way to my auntie's crib. Then sunday was spent with my sis & filamy on our trip to gilmore. Woohoo!!! got our new pc na! I wasnt able to play soccer & watch iaxe agen. And monday came.... as planned we should be in a celebrating mode dat day but .... God really has other plans for us. Especially for my Good Friend.

Tet was an ace in all she did. She may not have a record of any work experience but definitely deserve a chance. All the tears she cried and pain she feels may be blown away. US embassy denied her a visa but i know soon a great opportunity will come her way. I love u dearly!

Whew. T'was a great weekend after all.

The PhP20.00 Merienda Challenge

2005-07-21T18:20:00.000+08:00

Venue: Landmark Food Court / Supermarket
Time: Every afternoon

Winners:
Rank 1: Richard
1pc Putok pandesal @the landmark grocery = PhP5.00
1pc Zesto Big Orange = PhP4.55
Total = PhP 9.55

Rank 2: Tina
1pc Goldilocks ensymada = PhP15.00@
Total = PhP 15.00

Rank3: Philip/Flip
2 pcs putok pandesal @ the landmark grocery = PhP10.00
1 mini lady's choice ham spread = PhP4.50
1pc Zesto Big Orange = PhP 4.55
Total = PhP19.05

Rank 4: Sai
1pc Putok pandesal @the landmark grocery = PhP 5.00
1pc Ham&Cheese Croissant = PhP19.50
1pc Zesto Big Mango =PhP5.00
Total = PhP 29.50

Rank5: Sir Noel
1pc Goldilocks Hamonado Ensaymada =PhP29.50
1 Mcdo Hot Coffee =PhP25.00
Total = 54.50

Satisfied.
We survived hunger this afternoon.
I'll gonna miss these creatures!!! hehehe.

JC Almighty

2005-07-21T12:17:00.000+08:00

I'm soaking wet out here in the rain.
Waiting for love to$come my way
With empty pocket, i ran to you
As expected you let me through

Kissed my worries goodbye.
Kept me safe for the night.
Warmth me with you sweet embrace.
Could i ask for more?

Been lost... gone wild
But you never gave up
You believed in me so badly
While i was all down & weary

Held my hand and walked me through
Making me see how beautiful i can be
I may have been this little butterfly
But your embraced whispered to me,
" hey sai, go and spread your wings & fly.
Don't worry..for I will always be at your side."

Took a deep breathe and flew.
Tears flowed from my eyes...
On my own, i let it be
JC, now look at me
you have molded me that way i should be
With this, i thank thee.

I could have wished for a better one
But i know there is a lot to come
I entrust to you my life as i always do
please keep me safe from harm
embrace me like you always do
kiss me tenderly and wipe away my tears
I lift it all up to you.

i need an energy drink.

2005-07-19T09:46:00.000+08:00

what's eating you sai???

com'on... take the big step & move your pwet!!!!
get things goin.
read books... do something great...press F5 so you can refresh your memory.
you can do it. boost that self-esteem.
Go girl!!! you'll succeed in no time.

GV GV come to me.
what on earth is dis? aaahhh!!!
soon, you'll get over those chinese / broken english... and you'll be back to your oldself.
counting the days, less than a month. see, it's not that bad.

Yes...I am!!!

2005-07-15T10:19:00.000+08:00

I guess I've found my way
It's simple when it's right
Feeling lucky just to be here tonight
And happy, just to be me
And be...Alive
--- Alive by Jennifer Lopez

Excerpt.....

2005-07-13T11:04:00.000+08:00

i have no right bringing you here
knowing what i know
feeling the way i feel
i have no right being so uncontented
being so confused
being so not for you
----excerpt from my queenie's email

Or should i say.... "you being so not for me!!! "

Pilipinas.... Ayos ka pa ba?

2005-07-08T16:20:00.000+08:00

I am a proud Filipino despite all the crisis - may it be economic , social or political issues that our country is facing right now. But being proud,does not mean that i'm Pro - Gloria. Though it does not make any sense, whoever may be governing our country might be of the same feather.... same goal. I'm really BV about our government. All these bad fate are happening due to greed& power grabbing.

Digital Karma i may say. See, what GMA did to Erap is all coming back......
(BG music: it's all coming back...it's all coming back to me now...by celine dion)

Let's admit that some of our political leaders are really that greedy huh!!! Are they aware how hard it is to live each day? How much a regular employee receive for his/her pay? In time, how will i send my kids to school? Will i ever have a good future after all these chaos?

God help us. Save our country from this pit.
Let's pray hand in hand for our country. And hope that our next leader would really do his/her job and make our lives better.

Chopsuey entry

2005-07-06T15:00:00.000+08:00

I'm pissed with our Homeowner's Association. Everyday nlng kse umuulan kya di nawawala ang tubig or baha sa tapat ng bahay ng mga nsa left side. It all started when our neighbor, anak ng HMOA President pa ha, put a ramp infront of their garage... ano un bawal matubigan kanal ang gulong ng kotse nila..hayup... since then, nag bara ang drainage. Once ko na kinausap ang President ng Home Owners at di nya ko mabigyan ng concrete answer at i-consult pa daw nya sa anak nya kya nakapag taray na nman ako. Kainis kse eh! Protecting his own interest.

Leche. Para tuloy squatter tapat nmin pagtapos ng ulan. 1 pa, makikipag away na tlga ako.

******
Super dry skin.

Wa epek ang mga mosturizers na nilalagay ko sa katawan ko.
I can draw / write my name sa skin ko. Pasaway. DRY!

******
Hong Kong

Boss-free til Friday!!! Woo00hooo00!!!

******
New Zealand

Sna swertehin kme.

******

wa kwenta to!

Closure.

2005-07-05T09:53:00.000+08:00

Never did i imagine how easy it would be for me to forgive you...
And slowly forget you.
I heard your all your sorrys...
It's all forgiven.... but not forgotten.

never been this happy.
this is all i wanted after all.
closure.

as my friend told us, everything falls into place when u start to decide to fix everything.
and it did. everything seems so right. so good.

*****
Healing comes so painfully
And it chills to the bone
Will anyone get close to me?
I'm damaged, as I'm sure you know

There's mending for my soul
An ending to this fear
Forgiveness for a man who was stronger
I was just a little girl, but I can't go back
-- Damaged (Plumb)

Lights....Camera....Action.

2005-07-01T14:32:00.000+08:00

Whew

2005-06-29T16:45:00.000+08:00

There is always to side of a story.

For instance, the scenario today here at our office...
I resigned already.
But GPI was able to pull off to this big project that we have been investing on for 3 years. Finally!
Happy & sad part.
Ganun lng tlga.

I'm on to the next level.

Zamba Part 2

2005-06-28T16:57:00.000+08:00

It was Net-Net V's blast for her 26th year on earth.
This girl is such a blessing to us. Luff nmin tlga sya!!!

Together with the SFC family, we traveled north --> Tammy's Resort, Zambales.
And again... major nakakahiya session. i ate sand kse i got drunk. lagot!
So, i told to myself no more beer session for sai.Ang next sa bday ko. Twice na ko gumawa ng eksena at di ok un. nakakahiya!!! di ko n nman na control, pakshet. Kulang sa "phasing" ang pag inom...minadale ko kse ayan... napadali ang pag tulog ko.

saya n nman ng zamba. as always!!
Thanks puppy!

June Celebrants

2005-06-24T08:35:00.000+08:00

yo! yo! yo! it's your birthday!!! we're gonna party ......

11 - Riza
15 - bunny
19- Celle
20- Jenny G.
21 - My pretty mooodie!!!
25 - Nenita V in the haws... off to Zamba!
28 - Angelo

More blessing people....

Road Trip

2005-06-23T13:35:00.000+08:00

Short kwentos of current events in my so-called life.

1. Instead of getting home by 9pm after ko mag semi OT kgbe... i got home mga 10:30pm na.. i had a road trip from Makati --- Libis (d2 naganap ang banggaan) to Camp Karingal, Sikatuna. Ayos!!!

2. After seeing Kuya Mike (oh well, my ex' bro) last monday.... I saw Mark & his sister Mau naman this morning. I guess they didn't noticed me. I wish. Wala naman akong naramdaman na kakaiba. Steady lng. keber!

3. I had a meeting with the ad agency/ associate for US embassy... some kinda foreigner ang ka meeting ko knina... they are working for a good cause nman... anti-terrorism campaign.

4. 1:30pm, no lunch yet.

un lng nman. nothing special.semi non-sense... as always!

tomorrow, im on vacation leave!!! yahoo00oo!!!

Krisis Na!

2005-06-22T12:59:00.000+08:00

Php 2 up for jeepney & ordinary bus fare...
buti nlng i only take the shuttle to work at di na ako nag je-jeep...
pro kawawa din naman un mga apektadong mamamayang pilipino.
ung mga sumasahod ng minimum wage.
ung mga di lagi may raket.

lahat nagmahal na.
i can still remember duirng my highschool days, Php 60 lng ang cine.
ngayon, umaabot sa Php151 per movie. anong kapalit nun 151 mo???
-- comfy seats, digital sounds..wla nman libreng pop corn.

nagmahal na nga lahat... pro ang sahod ng mga tao ganun pa din.
e gosh, lalo na ito at napapalapit na ang deadline ko sa sarili ko..
soon, isa na ko sa magkakamot nlng ng ulo habang bumming around pa ang drama ko.
sna makahnap agad ako ng bagong career...profession.

e kung wla. naku patay!
pro God will provide.

ympre bawal ang patulog tulog sa pancitan..
di lalapit ang mga company sa akin dhil di nman ako magna cum laude noh!
wag kabahan... supreme ako!
yan nman!

feel ko na krisis!
mag impok!

Yet another year older...2months from now!

2005-06-22T08:41:00.000+08:00

AUGUST 8

Born on the 8th day of the month, you have a special gift for business, as you can conceive and plan on a grand scale. You have good executive skills and you're a good judge of values. You should try to own your own business, because you have such a strong desire to be in control.

You are generally reliable when it comes to handling money; you can be trusted in this regard. Idealistic by nature, you are never too busy to spend some time on worthwhile causes, especially if managerial support are needed.

There is much potential for material success associated with this number.

****

so yun daw ang meaning ng bday ko!

Oh you're 58 na!!!

2005-06-21T08:26:00.000+08:00

My mommy - baby-ooo is 58 today!!
Happy birthday mommy!

Love you! Cheers!

Naisip ko lng......

2005-06-17T13:22:00.000+08:00

What will truly make you happy?

kaw mismo!!!

ako, iniisip ko pa til now. simple tanong pro ang dami kong pde isagot pro ano nga ba ang magpapasaya ng lubos ke sai?

I can relate.....

2005-06-15T14:04:00.000+08:00

The Day you said Goodnight
---- Hale

The calmness in your face
That i see through the night
The warmth of your light is pressing unto us
You didn't ask me why
I never would have known oblivion is falling down.
And i do reside in your hear
Put out the fire with me and find
Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles
That's what i'll do if we say goodbye.

To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need this time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.

If you could only know me like your prayers at night
Then everything between you and me will be all Right.

And soon, We will be singing this song whole heartedly....
Dba Dreddie!!!

Starting Today
--- Natalie Imbruglia

Starting today I'm not gonna worry about tomorrow
I'll wash away allthis fear that's left me feeling hollow
Cause you made me want to tryAnd you caught me just in time
Everyday you give me reason not to walkaway
I'll stop believing I should burn like crazy Coz if I did you chase me

Options

2005-06-15T13:30:00.000+08:00

Soon, Bum na ako.... Gosh!
Scary but i have to take the risk.

I have a lot of options nman & i know that JC will provide.

Here's my options:
1. Buhayin ang beaded shirt biz.
2. Try my luck as a MedRep sa Ilocos.
3. Biz...Biz...Biz.... to make it short (same as #1: RUMAKET)
4. Mag pamudmod lng ng resume
5. R&R muna.

Kaya ko to!
Aja!!!

Long weekend nga

2005-06-13T13:18:00.000+08:00

My football team mates, Aloy & Tine clashed their heads in the field last sunday... Tine was rushed to the nearest hospital... if im not mistaken, she had 6 - 10 stitches ata.... Get well soon Tine!

***
great bonding with GPs & JC.
I loooove you GrandPas & ympre JC!!!

***

Mr & Mrs. Smith
puno ng action, chessy lines... pro if you will analyze it, wlang kwento pro panalo.

Tama nga si Net, """" ang mahal ng sine"""
PhP151 each... kme lahat PhP 755.
A price to pay ...pra lng makapag unwind.
Reserve sitting....comfy theatre chair... Digital Audio Cinema at Eastwood.
Lapes na un eh! Pro di bale pinasaya nman kme ng winning at may kirot na mga linya ni brad at angelina.

***

Bonding with my cousins.
yes, Archie boy was in town & we went malling.
I missed my 6 footer cuzin.
Til next session.

My Japanese Name.....

2005-06-13T12:34:00.000+08:00

Your Japanese Name Is...

Michiko Takahashi

What's" your Japanese Name?

ang galing!!! kse when i was a kid, gustong gusto ko ung name na Mitchiko.Pde na!!! Sounds Family!!! hahaha

*********

thanks dredd! sau galing ang links sa fresh look ng blog ko.

Bakit nga ba?

2005-06-10T08:22:00.000+08:00

Ang init lagi ng ulo ko... PMS???!!!???

*******
na mi miss nya ko????
hayup. sino nman ang binola mo!

pretty pa din.... mukha ba kong nagloloko?
eh bakit ayaw nyo maniwala?
ano ba gusto nyo sbhin ko, lonely & broken hearted ganun?
e tapos na ko dun sa stage na un eh.
wag natin pilitin ha!!! pretty lng tlga ko..kya ka nga nabighani e!
(ano ko naka drugs bwahaha!!!)
ok na ok lng ako.
di ko pinagluksa ang pagkawala mo.
cge na nga, naiyak ako..inaatake minsan.
pro un lng un. wla na.

ganun pa man, salamat.
pinasaya mo dn nman ako eh.... pinangiti mo ko sa mga dahilan di ko ma wari....
pinaikot mo ang mundo ko.... tinuruan magmahal muli ang puso ko.....
salamat. un lng.

It’s about time

2005-06-07T10:20:00.000+08:00

After two years and blah blah months of working in the company…. I have decided to file my resignation effective August probably. For the __th time I have said this to my friends but now I am firm with my decision to spread my wings & fly.

Assessment:
2003 – Philippine Stock Exchange Office
Newly renovated & office just transferred from their QC ofc to PSE Centre, Ortigas.
- Hired as an assistant, under paid I may say.
- We were only 3 employees at that time & a driver
- My job title was changed to Marketing Administrator by December I think
- Ethics…. Ethics…Ethics…. Most argued part
- I decided to leave for about __ th times….

2004 – We moved to our Makati Office, Fronting Greenbelt 3.
- Merged w/ a HK office, so from 3-4 employees we became a bigger family. A lot of changes came when the merging happened…. We became 9 heads working for a promo company.
- Added more people…. Some left. That’s the sad part
- From the power 3, I was the only one left from the original group…. Plus the boss ofcourse
- Since December, I have been working over time… til I get home, til I wake up I have tons of text messages to attend to, on weekends too!!! Worst was last weekend, that I was in a cinema watching Madagascar with the kids..I needed to text & call while relaxing. Lam mo un prang gusto mo nlng sumigaw sa cinehan ng “Anak ng pating, nanonood ako ng sine!!!!! “

In benefit of the doubt, I some kinda enjoyed my work. When I see the products we have developed in the market, TV & broadsheets…It feels good. But basically that’s it. Plus, the company of Pee, the boys, everybody. Saya din.

But look at me now. Have anything changed? Naah!!! My pocket didn’t grew bigger as I expected. My savings fluctuated from its maintaining balance to a few thousands. And nothing more. My brain downsized from 8 to 4. OMG!

I know I shouldn’t complain for there are people who actually wants to have my position…..be able to work… far most worst, they have more than bad experiences or comments about their jobs. People, this is my side… just my side about my work.

With all these facts & a blessing from my dad…. I’m really leaving for good.

A friend told me, “ Don’t look for a job, Have a career!”
At un ang gagawin ko.

Deep breathing....

2005-06-03T13:12:00.000+08:00

I am…
a katipunera/warrior...a dreamer...a believer....

I know…
that everything happens for a reason

I have…
to fix my life all over again

I wish…
life is not toooo complicated

I hate…
being such a goody goody girl...

I miss…
my normal mom

I fear…
rejection...being alone...judged...

I hear…
God's calling me to be consistent in my faith

I search…
for the answers --> why all these things are happening or happened to me ????

I wonder…
what's next in line for me....what type of experience or challenge will i have to face....

I regret…
that i'd let go a lot of opportunities

I love…
my worlds...my life --family, friends, and i'm starting to love myself na!

I’m lucky…
that i am given another chance to fix my life...regain myself.....over & over & over again

I ache…
in totality

I care…
about almost everything that exist...that has feelings...

I want…
to fulfill my dreams

I am not mad…
at anyone

I dance…
when i feel good

I sing…
whenever i get a chance...when i hear my fave songsssss

I do not always…
keep things to myself...my life has been an open book

I should not…
trust & believe someone right away

I am not…
"that" satisfied in my current status

I love to have…
my old mom back

I write…
all my feelings, thoughts in my blog / journal

I also fear…
of not proving myself to my family that i can make it big.

I win…
in any situation. I'm a warrior...a believer...a dreamer.

I lose…
my self esteem when i have done something really stupid....

I am confused…
with a lot of things.

I listen to…
my downloaded mp3s everyday....

I go to…
my room or our T&B and lock myself til i feel better..til i reconciled my thoughts.

I am glad…
that i'm starting to heal and that i am moving on with my life

I am happy about…
everything right now.

I am obsessed…
with love-- being loved. ..with color white

I should be…
enjoying life and stop worrying about the future

I want to…
have a career.

**************
yan dred, post ko din.... itu ang pinagkaabalahan nming mga krung krung nun isang araw...at tlga nman... this is serious slambook... adult slambook ika nga ni janice. Pinagtalunan pa nmin tamang spelling slumbook at slambook....
ang skit sa dibdib nun sinasgutan ko to. Naiyak tlga ko sa ilang parte at it took me 1 day to answer this.
jesika, kaw ang pasimuno nito pro ang ganda ha! i mean, nailabas natin lahat dito. it feels lighter noh!

hay.

i miss you so....

2005-05-24T16:09:00.000+08:00

i lost my precious necklace.... ang katas ng dugo at pawis ko.
sad. waaaah....

Capones Island

2005-05-16T12:30:00.000+08:00

Wow! Philippines tlga!!!
just by exploring a few islands... ang saya ko... pano pa kya if i go to palawan...

Capones island is situated in Zambales. Try nyo..ganda!!! We enjoyed our trip tlga... see our some photos...i was with sister, cuzins and some family friends!!!

Soccer day again

2005-05-06T18:14:00.000+08:00

It's TGIF.

SFC day - I thought I'll be back on the field kickin' balls... unfortunately, i'm gonna hit the field again watching my teammates play... star gaze... eat ice cream (strawberry vanilla!!!).... listen to krung krung dredd's ipod...

I'm craving for Wendy's frosty or chili rice or bacon cheeseburger...

just wanna eat and gain weight....

prang gusto ng kiss.... pa kiss nga!!!!

Patikim pa lang....

2005-05-05T18:27:00.000+08:00

it's my life!!!!

2005-05-04T19:09:00.000+08:00

Stranded in this shit...
working my way out... trying to move on with my life....
but what do i get?

i often question my life...
why always me...
i 've been good.
why me?

still not spared.
until when will i live my life believing in fantasy.
when will i learn?
when will i learn to care less on other's woes?
when will i learn to love myself more?

For a time, i abandoned myself. I sought for your happiness that i forgot mine altogether.

endless questions...

hey, it's my life.
im gonna live it the way i want to.
nobody can stop me.
even you! ( you know who you are, damn it!)

so stop it. let me be.
you go on with your life. and il go on with mine.
hell yes, i love you...
but i had enough already.

im sori that i cannot fulfil the promise i made to your mom & dad.
pro i tried ....

i said thank you already.
i'm saying it again....
thank you for gracing my life like a whirlwind, leaving me breathless and hurt, inspired and furious, affectionate and listless. Thank you for showing me what it means to be human, to commit mistakes and to discover how to regain myself after everything that had happened.

it's about time that i focus on sai.
and what will truly makes her world.

thanks to my family, friends and JC.
life is really full of surprises.
i'm ready to spread my wings and fly!!!!

break down story

2005-05-03T22:39:00.000+08:00

yes... i did.

just like how my friend, net described me, prang 3 year old na inaagawan ng candy.... ganun. i cried like hell... kulang pa ata ang 3 balde sa mga luhang iniyak ko. i never did imagine actually... bigla lng din. siguro dala ng kalasingan. Kaliwa't kanan ba nman kse ang tagay na iniinuman ko eh...at red horse pa un. pasaway diba!!!

Pro, ok na din un... FINALLY!!! i was able to let it go. Dala dala ko na yan bagahe ko for a time... sinarili ko... sumabog ako sa dami. I feel a lot better now after i cried it out.

Lucky me!

2005-04-28T15:29:00.000+08:00

I was spared... Thanks JC and to all my friends who supported me during my teary moments. All the hassles and stressed pulled me down but hey im recovering ... BUT i lost weight..too bad!

Still, i'm thankful for a lot of things. Blessing tlga and the novena really works. I'm keeping my faith.

I'm such a lucky girl. I'm just extra krung krung today. So happy!!!!

Inspired to do great stuff.... i've edited my resume already... i've resumed to my krung krung ways.... i've opened my heart to JC and HE welcomed me back.

i'm back. and i'm gonna make things better...

zamba escapade

2005-04-20T12:20:00.000+08:00

i had a great weekend with my sfc friends...

i loooveee it.
beach soccer...
beach volleyball....
bonding with the krung krungs.

great!!!

Beaded Tops for sale

2005-04-14T16:28:00.000+08:00

please contact me for any inquires...
leave a message nlng

i love Sashimi but....

2005-03-23T10:31:00.000+08:00

Bawal nga pla!!!
Pro nun weekend nkarami ako ng salmon sashimi... 2 straight days!!!
gosh
now, i feel bad (vomit plus stomach ache)... bawal pla malansa at raw fud skin...
pasaway tlga ako!!!

Milyonaryo ako!!!

2005-03-21T08:40:00.000+08:00

The mall sales hit my pocket real hard... aba, prang millionaire ako ng 3 araw~!!! di nagpaawat!!! pro ang saya ko!!! kaso ubos na agad ang pera ko!!! skirt, tops, rubbershoes and sandals -- complete na ,oha!!! pro mahaba pa rin wish list ko!!! Masama tlga ako ma depress,un lng!!! hahaha!!!

Lingers

2005-03-18T13:04:00.000+08:00

Just when i learned to let go.... things get harder...heavier to carry...
As i cry myself to sleep, memories keeps on flashing back
Just like how we used to sit in the park & star gazed...
watched their neighbourhood kids play...
chatting with his friends...
play basketball or just simply looked at each other teasing ourselves...
how he held me close as we dance in their village streets as people taped their surprised smile in their faces...
how his tita tells me how her day was... how pepper,her little sister's pup play with me....
how he kisses me....how he loved me.

Memories still lingers... still fresh....
Fighting back sadness...
Hoping i was able to say all the things i wanted to....
But now, all i can say is thank you...
From this, i'm gonna start picking up the broken pieces of sai...
No matter how painful it is... i know i'l make it....

Tomorrow....
After the rain pours, the rainbow will welcome me
The sun will shine in my doorstep
Wait for the butterfly to notice me again
Just let things be...for the coming days... I'll be loved again..
Be in love again.

Roller coaster ride

2005-03-10T00:45:00.000+08:00

Zoooom....that's how my love story begun and ended. Smitten like a roller coaster ride... hugged me and didn't let go. believing it was a good love, just like any girl, i took time in giving him the best time of his life. We were happy then. Yes, we were.

But my ride got stranded. Left me anxious...confused and in pain. My emotions deliberately fighting against one another. just like any carnival ride.. it has its twist and turns.

No matter how much i tried. i fought and that i probably loved. Yes, i did! The pain killed me on the spot. Left deep scars, tears in my eyes. I was really blessed having good playmates around me. Guiding me, giving me the strength and the will power to go on...to move on. Bringing me closer to JC, almighty.

Now, the carnival blows its horn. Signaling to me, it's time to leave and say good bye. For tomorrow, i'm off to my next ride. A new one. Much better one.

Whoa.

doin fine

2005-02-15T15:59:00.000+08:00

i was hospitalized and got my appendix removed but im doing great now... 1 week from op day and im jolly as ever. pasaway n nman. i'm gonna report back to work on monday, 21 Feb. after 2weeks of sick leave. my health is doin fine... my heart is coming na din in a way. It will heal soon.

i miss my normal life since i have been stuck in the haws for more than a week already. bawal u,alis. syet!!!! my gimiks ..my late nights...hay

Wednesday & I'm in love

2005-02-03T09:19:00.000+08:00

It was a sunny but busy wednesday afternoon when i got a call from my cell. Mark's name registering in my cel screen and when i answered, not his voice welcomed me but it was Lionel Richie's singing "The Only One". After the song, he uttered "kanta ko sau un. Lab u bebe"

I was quite speechless... I can't imagine him doing such corny deed like placing his cellphone in his car radio...it's so not him. Deeply touched and tlga nman...ang ngiti ko aabot ata ng Bohol. Di lng stars at rainbow ang nakita ko, kundi ang buong planeta sa langit. Nagiging korny din pla ang ugok na un.

Then that evening, he even cooked dinner for me.

boy, i'm loving each special treatment i'm getting from him. Simple surpirses that means a lot and melts my heart makes me look forward sa mga susunod na araw. sorry, i cant help it. mixed emotions lng tlga ako. paksyet!

The Only One

2005-02-03T09:14:00.000+08:00

Let me tell you now All that's on my mind. For a love like yours.Is oh, so very hard to find.I've looked inside myself.Now I'm very sure.There can only be, you for me. I need you more and more....

You, turned me inside out and you showed me.What life was about. Only you, the only one that stole my heart away. I wanna do all I can, just to show you. Make you understand. Only you, the only one that stole my heart away.

When you're in my arms. When I'm close to you. There's a magic in your touch. That just comes shining through. Want you everyday. Want you every night. There can only be, you for me. You make it seem so right.Oh, girl, cause.....

You, turned me inside out and you showed me. What life was about. Only you, the only one that stole my heart away. In my mind, there's no other love. You're the only girl my heart and soul is thinking of. Only you, only me. There can never ever be another. That understands the way that I feel inside,Cause....

You,turned me inside out and you showed me.What life was about.Only you, the only one that stole my heart away.Yeah, you, turned me inside out and you showed me What life was about.Only you, the only one that stole my heart away.

(you stole my heart away)You stole it.
(you stole my heart away)Only you, the only one that stole my heart away.
Yeah you, (you stole my heart away)
Oh you stole it, ( you stole my heart away)
Only you, the only one that stole my heart away.
You stole my heart away.
Stole it, (you stole my heart away)
Only you baby, the only one that stole my heart away.

Krung krung

2005-02-02T13:24:00.000+08:00

Today I am extra krung krung. Ang kulit ko syet. Khet hirap ako since naatasan ako as the new ofc key monitor til Pee is on leave. 830am dpat d2 na ko. sa 1st try ko late na ko. Aga ko na umalis nun ha!!!

Paid na cellphone bill ko... ako na ngayon pay bills ko. May responsibilities na ko. Sna makayanan ko ang mga paparating na bills. kala mo kalakihan ang sahod. Hayup.

Nka semi - summer outfit ako...unfortunately, mukhang uulan. syet. Sira get up ko...

Saya lng yan araw na to!!! i'm extra happy.

beautiful people

2005-02-02T13:17:00.000+08:00

New baby boy

2005-02-01T09:05:00.000+08:00

My cuz gave birth to a bouncing baby boy,Anacleto Jose. Makalumang pangalan pano from Anjo's lolo's name derived ang knyang napagandang pangalan.

Welcome!!!

time flies

2005-01-27T11:25:00.000+08:00

oh how time flies.... a lot of things happend already and i barely noticed it come. gosh!!! still on my PSS mode. sb ko dati makalagpas ng january for us is luck already...e hello, feb na next month. unexpectedly, we lasted this long. 4months today!!!

happy day baby bubot!

still, steady pa din ako. mhirap na eh! gudluck nlng.

Prayers for Alyssa

2005-01-20T10:04:00.000+08:00

My 11 months pretty girl inaanak, Alyssa is scheduled for an operation today @ 1pm - st.luke's.

removal of hernia - luslos in tagalog. i didnt know that girls are capable of having that. all the while boys lang alam ko nagkakaluslos e. incarcerated na ovary ni baby alyssa so immediate operation was advised.

hoping for the best. dnt worry little angel, we are praying for your fast recovery & for the success of your operation.

luv you my little angel!

reasons why.....

2005-01-20T09:52:00.000+08:00

Why does it feels good to wake up each morning?
1. new day, new challenges, new experiences 2. getting a good morning kiss from trixie,my baby as soon as i uncover my face from my blanket 3. smiles and more good morning kisses from family members. 4. knowing that somebody loves me for what i am 5.knowing i have great friends around me 6. knowing ill be able to hug & kiss my baby 7. saying i love you & i miss you to those who means a lot to me.... so many reasons...

damn, no matter how bad things may seem, still i find time to wear a smile and look forward for each brand new day. life is really wonderful indeed.

so lovely. =)

culprit

2005-01-19T09:20:00.000+08:00

bothered for a time... i let my mind be poisoned by my evil thoughts. and it made me like a mad cow running in the street.

gosh! i could have lost a lot....

overflowing love

2005-01-13T09:43:00.000+08:00

khet on most days, bv ako. i cant help but also notice all the love im getting from the people around me. i may have been inactive to most of my friends lately.... not being able to visit my cuzins/aunts.... still... i know somehow sa likod ng pagtatampo nilang lahat mahal pa rin nila ako.

thanks for the overflowing love and understanding. GV day ko today. i can feel it. sna magtuloy tuloy sa buong araw.

JC , thanks.

love you peeps....lahat kau.

bad days

2005-01-12T13:27:00.000+08:00

Bad days are overflowing. dme ko nun ngayon. and i find it really hard to control my emotions and worst nababaling ko sa ibang tao or bgay. I'm starting to hate a lot of things,.... and it's pulling me down.

GV GV GV please come visit me!!!!

wla lang

2005-01-05T13:53:00.000+08:00

la lng mgawa...just ate my lunch..went to the bank to deposit sana unfortunately i left my atm card. darn, bkit kse wla bpi near d2 office un may teller ha..di un express..tagal tgal bago ma credit ung deposit ko. hmp. yan tuloy nauubos ko na. hahaha!!!

im loving U2 brand for tees. so comfy kse. kaso lagi ubos ang color white na extra small size. kya i often end up getting other colors. not bad na din.

i realized nun dec '04 and first few weeks of january. i have been spending too much. sabagay sbe ate ko, minsan lng. hayup na minsan un, sa 1 buwan 5 tshirts nabili ko tama ba un. di lng un e, di basta basta, mejo may kalidad at presyo kya nman skit ng bulsa ko. dibale na, gganda nman ako dun. hahaha!!! ay, may black pants na ko finally!!!

kgbe, hot tempted ako. pasuway nman kse pro i was able to cool down nman. ayos na din. matagal ko nang gusto makita ang reaction nya pag mainit ulo ko, gusto ko lng tignan kng how he would deal with it...either makikisakay sa init ng ulo ko o makikisabay. nakisakay nlng sya at nakuha lng ako sa lambing. leche.

tita ni tetet died knina lng. condolence friend. God is waiting for her na sa house nya. Ok na din un kaysa naghihirap sya diba.

jo-ann & tetet --- abangan~~~hahahaha~~~ naku ha!!!!

ano pa ba meron tong araw na to? wla lng ulit.
just an ordinary day. but gagawin natin extra ordinary. i want to do something new to spice up our lives. isip muna ako. baboo!!

Happy bday po!!!

2005-01-04T09:10:00.000+08:00

It's your bday!! Happy bday to the man, who is responsible in bringing Mark in this world!!! bwahahaha!!! Look - a- like duo father & son.

Tito, hope u like the pants. (Thanks to Tita Aidee for telling me your better- half's waist line!!! 34. for the chicken bbq for dinner last nyt. whoa,sarap!) L try to be early later. babawi na po for being pasaway. :D

Welcome 2005

2005-01-01T13:51:00.000+08:00

Boom!!! We welcomed 2005 with a bang. New chances...chapter... No resolution for this year. Di ko nman na susunod eh! And i can always reinvent & renew myself anytime i want to dba!!! I just can't imagine i'm getting old --- turning 25 this year,,, gosh!!! yet, pa atras ata takbo ng utak ko. i just want to refresh my memory and go back to skul or anything bsta, gagana ulit utak ko. wla na eh, purol na. i'm reading and watching may kabulahan shows na nga eh pra nman khet paano di mangalawang utak ni sai noh!!!

Bsta, welcome 2005~~~ may this year of the roster bring us luck...love..happiness..contentment and stability.

Happy New year People!!!!

back to dreamland

2004-12-29T09:19:00.000+08:00

i am a dreamer eversince. dreamer of great fantasy. just like any little girl who wants a prince charming... a fairy godmother.... evil sisters/step mother.... oh!!! wake up dear. journeying in my dreamland is a never ending cycle that keeps me insane for awhile. A kind of insanity that you'd long to live and dream for a lifetime.

my own life story is not of great fantasy (talking bout mala-cinderella type) but it is full of great experiences that i love to share to everybody. my life is not perfect at all. i wanted to change a lot about me but that would make me a different person...i love my life. i may be wanting to have a more: 1. decent and fulfilling job that can move my ass for growth (Soon i have to do something about this) .... 2. a lot of material things to come... 3. a business of my own... 4. to travel locally and abroad... 5. a family of my own....and more to come... but hey mind you... i never enjoyed my life as i'm enjoying it now. my family has been rock solid since mom's attack. Yet, sometimes we have this petty fights lalo na if you have a pasuway dad like mine. Then from chapter A (abnormal) i moved my life to the next, having a normal relationship (i mean) that makes me happy..been a source of my inspiration for a time now.his family who accepted my totality. Also, i have good friends around me...who also tug me to my insanity...who brighten up my sky when dark clouds appears. Boy!!!

hey, that one is not part of my dreamland journey anymore...that is my present life that i have living and trying to make it more fulfilling.

D R E D

2004-12-29T09:17:00.000+08:00

Isa si dred sa mga krung-krung friends ko kya mahal na mahal ko siya!!! Tagay ko to for you dreddy, Happy bday sau!!!

Reason for the season

2004-12-28T09:55:00.000+08:00

I have all the reasons to be happy!!! Not only because it's Christmas ...then New Year is coming... I dunno but everything seems to be so right. Although, admittedly pasuway ako last nyt on our 3rd monthsary... i wasn't there when i should be...after i promised a good day for the both of us..i selfishly spend the day with alyssa and summer... then with my weirdo childhood friends,,,, in the end, tampo ang bata!!! oh well, pde nman mag sorry at pde bumawi. ;D

anyway, thanks for all the gifts i got this season.... to my dad: super thanks!!! hahaah!!! mom, ubos na mader!!! my sister, iba ka tlga!!! dinah & tetet for our traditional gift giving....Mark for the memorable 1st christmas together...his family for the gifts na super di ko expect ( Kuya Mike for the blouse, Mau & Monique for the sexy top and Tita Aidee for the scented candle) Salamat salamat... sa mga ofcmates ko....sa lhat ng nag text skin...sa ka block ko!!! lahat kau, salamat you guys made me happy this season!! this year....

mwah mwah mwah!!!!

now i'm crying

2004-12-17T09:44:00.000+08:00

for certain reasons, i cant help but cry. cguro nagpatong patong lng, i thought i was ok na but i am not. i even dont know where to start. i have been numb for a time and all of a sudden my emotions are pushing me to cry. i'm just letting it out. letting it fall.

moments like this i tried to neglect. i find myself so alone ryt now. so lost. i cant even explain to myself why i feel this way. inaatake lng siguro ako.

It's my life

2004-11-30T13:09:00.000+08:00

For the past months, i have been missing a lot. Missing my own life...own time... my friends...dme.... i know i could have done a lot of things..better things!!! if given a chance... but since, i'm tied and left with no choice ay ( wla nman ganun, i think much better term --> wla na akong magawa)

My gas... i miss my old life. happy - go - luck single life. Yung wlang sabit...wlang pagpapaalaman... Pinapayagan naman niya ko umalis eh ... most cases lng, either sasama sya or susunduin nya ako. Tlgang mas devoted dpat sa knya oras ko...he cant seem to understand na minsan kailangan ko ng space... alone!!! Lalo na major problem ko is "sawa".

Now, i have plans to kung pano ko magagawa mga gusto ko. bhala sya! pasuway nman ako starting now.

I miss doing a lot of things.... grabe!!!!

** sigh **

Meet Pepper

2004-11-23T11:22:00.000+08:00

cross breed ng boxer & rot... doggie ni monique, sis ni kulit....

Pee

2004-11-23T11:21:00.000+08:00

Happy bday!!! hope u like the colors. Thanks sa delicious pasta ng mom mo!!!